I Can't Even Say It
by The Amazing Fetus
Summary: A Ciel-centric parody of an inside internet joke. Contains Ciel acting the way he normally does in canon, which may-or-may-not be perceived as bashing. Whateva' Has generous use of the f-bomb.


Ciel was in his office doing paper work that was already finished hours ago. He was layering new ink over old ink in an attempt to confuse Lizzie who was sitting across the desk from him.

"Ciel. Please smile." she asked, again, on the verge of tears. It always bothered him and that's why she did it. If he would not do it in promise of being kind then he would do it just to make her shut up.

"I can never smile again. You _know_ that." Ciel corrected her.

"You could smile if you just relaxed. Do you want me to call Sebastian for some tea?"

"And why would you do that? I'm not thirsty.""I think you could use something to relax you, that's all."

"Relax?" he whispered in a way that Lizzie was hardly able to hear it. Ciel's head hit the surface of his desk, effectively landing with a loud thump. He made a groaning sound and was pulling at the roots of his black hair.

"How. Fucking…" Lizzie gasped when she heard that. Oh if her mother were here she would've caught the hysteria.

"_Dare you_." Ciel stood up, his cheeks flushed with teenage anger.

"Ciel please. Stop. You're being profane."

"You throw this onslaught of cruel bullshit at me and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing you are!" the angry English boy walked around his desk and slammed his heavy chair to the floor while doing so. Lizzie was about to cry, why did he have to be so moody? What could she have said to deserve such harsh words?

"_Relax_?" he asked. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" he was screaming loud enough to wake the ashes of his deceased parents that must've been scattered in the ground beneath the manor.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Ciel raised his hand, and Lizzie was already up and out of the chair. She had her back pressed against the heavy door, ready to bolt out at any second.

"Please Ciel.. I never wanted to make you angry at me. I was only suggesting that you might be happier if you relax a little bit."

Ciel put his arm down, as he was ten feet away fom her. A smack would mean hat he would have to move and even then… that would be too much.

"You are unbelievable. Your level of insolence… I can't even understand it. You are the reason I suffer every day! You think you understand, but you don't! Nothing I say is legitimate because of you."

"You're not even making sense."

"You just don't stop, do you? _Who needs enemies when I have a lover like you_?" Lizzie had reached her screaming tolerance for the day and starting to cry to herself. She pulled out a monogrammed handkerchief and blotted out her tears. Even if Ciel made her cry, she was disappointed that she couldn't stay pretty for him.

Lizzie was pushed aside when Sebastian opened the door and she let out a sigh of relief. He looked slightly annoyed and almost concerned when he saw that once again, Lizzie was crying and Ciel looked like he was about to hit her. How many times has he told Ciel never to hit a woman?

"My lord." Sebastian took Ciel's arm and pulled him into the chair that was turned over from his little bitch fit.

"Please relax. It has been a tiring day for you and-" Ciel backhanded Sebastian before you he could even finish his sentence.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. BOTH OF YOU. I AM SO TIRED OF THIS FUCKING, PATRONIZING, FUC-" he let out a little screech and pulled on his bangs.

"I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT. HOW DARE YOU TRIVIALIZE MY SUFFERING. I CAN NEVER SMILE AGAIN AND IT'S ALL. YOUR. FAULT. THE WAY YOU TREAT ME IN MY OWN ESTATE IS PERFECTLY CRIMINAL."

Ciel was panting, his face red like someone had colored it in with a rage sharpie. Sebastian was busy pushing Lizzie and himself out of the room before he shut the door and left. Some days it was better just not to talk to Ciel at all.

I do not expect anyone who isn't a frequent member of "The Asylum" forums or the "Asylum Reform" to understand the joke entirely. That is my own fault and or that I will now redirect you to some screen caps which I have used to write this.

http:/img16 .imageshack. us/img16/2965/cap3 .gif

there is no editing done to that screen cap. That is 100% pure-fucking-drama right there.

Yes I am bashing Ciel. _Deal with it. _


End file.
